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Craigslist: earnest musicians cry for help

Ah, the Internet's back pages, the destination of earnest guitarists everywhere looking to start a band. There's the "pro player" who only wants serious responses, and then the dudes who just want to jam, man. Today, there's also these people:

Most Blatant Acknowledgment of Influences
Are you into Amy Winehouse Music? Male vocalist looking to do something along the lines of what Amy Winehouse is doing. I can explain further what I have in mind if we get a chance to speak. Extremely versatile vocalist looking start a project along the lines of what Amy Winehouse is doing. Looking to record and shop the album (a producer would be great) or play out (booking connections would be amazing) OR BOTH. Read more

Washed-up Musician of the day
Jules Radino, drummer for the classic rock band Blue Oyster Cult is accepting drum students. All levels and styles. Will travel to you! Read More

Most Pretentious Description Award
Seeking gifted guttersnipes and frippian neologistocrats who are Adept in factory noise-waste,
garbled throatshrieks, industrial shards, splattered transmissions and ghostly tendrils. You are a controlled-feedback genius, a low-res Giacometti who thrives on live, on-stage Creation...Read More

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“Craigslist: earnest musicians cry for help”